Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Peace and Quiet
The title of this entry is something that I never have at school. As I'm writing this our lunch lady, otherwise known as Grandma, is screaming at a student to get out of the kitchen. There are at least ten extremely loud students at the security desk across the hall. It's always like this. Loud. My teaching voice sounds like a yell to the average person, especially those I encounter after work when I have errands to run. To those people I apoligize because I haven't quite turned off my teaching voice and they probably think I'm a bitch who just yells at everyone. In reality I have to talk LOUD to make myself heard even just a little. The students here are LOUD people by personality. Whispering in class to them is really talking in a normal speaking voice. Top this normal occurance with the noise in the cafeteria every hour right outside my door and you get the idea. My teaching voice is LOUD and peace and quiet don't exist.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Break sucks
Break sucks. I am completely over the idea of it. I just want to get back to school and finish up yet another shitty year. Don Bosco as an organization blows hard. I sat through a board meeting on Monday, of which I'm certain my being there was not expected. During the principal report staffing was supposed to be talked about and in the end all that was said was, "and we had to cut staff....." And that was it. I will say I do feel loved and cared for though because of the other staff members. I feel like I have total support from them and I feel like Don Bosco is going to go down in the fiery pits of hell because of the recent cuts.
I feel silly saying that Catie and I lost our jobs because of personal issues the principal has with us. It seems like I'm covering for something, but I'm not. I really truly feel like I was let go because first and foremost I'm young and I'm white and our principal isn't either of those things. Secondly, I think she dislikes the fact that Catie and I being young have bonded with the students and once again our principal has not. I'm obviously not going to pursue this accusation in a court of law. But I really do think and believe I don't have a job for next year solely based on my age and race.
I am looking forward to the rest of this year. After my meeting last Friday, I could tell, along with everyone else, that the climate at Don Bosco is changing. Not a single person wasn't mad about Catie and I being asked not to come back. In fact it was voiced by many other staff members. It's going to be an interesting rest of the year for sho.
I feel silly saying that Catie and I lost our jobs because of personal issues the principal has with us. It seems like I'm covering for something, but I'm not. I really truly feel like I was let go because first and foremost I'm young and I'm white and our principal isn't either of those things. Secondly, I think she dislikes the fact that Catie and I being young have bonded with the students and once again our principal has not. I'm obviously not going to pursue this accusation in a court of law. But I really do think and believe I don't have a job for next year solely based on my age and race.
I am looking forward to the rest of this year. After my meeting last Friday, I could tell, along with everyone else, that the climate at Don Bosco is changing. Not a single person wasn't mad about Catie and I being asked not to come back. In fact it was voiced by many other staff members. It's going to be an interesting rest of the year for sho.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Spring Break
I often wonder why exactly I went into music for my education degree. Two previous generations in my family have proved that elementary education has it's perks and downfalls like every other job and yet I chose music. And while I'm K-12 certified and could teach elementary music classes, which would be lots of fun, I don't have a strong vocal background. I sang in choir throughout high school and college and enjoyed it, but elem. music is completely vocal driven. I also didn't take more than the required one semester for elem. music and Jewell didn't offer any other classes for it that I know about. Add on top of that the fact that I student taught in a high school and middle school and in the end you have that I am not, in my opinion, qualified to teach elementary music. Also, considering that I'm instrumental I'm really not qualified to teach choir but I'm learning as I go and it's actually been an enjoyable experience.
Why do I mention all of this? Because the Friday before Spring Break, last Friday actually, we had been told budget cuts were unavoidable. That being said, jobs would need to be cut to make up for the loss of monies. Two weeks ago I was all sorts of freaked out. Our principal, who rarely deals with me, I am fairly certain dislikes me. I've never had a bad review, in fact they've all been great, I always do what I'm asked and I only complain when neccessary, when everyone else is complaining with me. Last week though, I stopped worrying and decided what happens happens. I can't control it, I should worry and if anything does happen it's probably for the best. My health has suffered greatly this year, with horrible migraine headaches. My patience is shot outside of school when dealing with normal sane minded human beings who decided to act like fools. And, my "teaching voice" which at my school is almost like a kindly sounding yell, is destroying my throat.
I, along with several good friends and colleagues, had theories about who would be let go. There are several questionable teachers, who are good people, but we're at a loss as to how they came into teaching. Also, because my best friend works there and seems to be the whipping boy or girl if you will, for our principal we thought she might be asked to leave. Although my theory was that because our fearless leader somehow just this year clued in that we're friends, even though I helped get my friend her job and we lived together last year, I figured one of the two of us would be asked to leave.
Friday was a very nervous day for me. To begin with my contact ripped so I was blind in one eye for half the day. Second, around 3rd hour, which is my plan period I got an email requesting a meeting with my principal after school. Scared I went to tell the art teacher, who went with my upstairs to talk to our principal right away. She was with a student so I was forced to wait, which only made me more of a nervous wreck. Walking back to my room I ran into our HR person and asked her to come speak to me in my room. Catie wandered down at the exact same time saying she had received an email as well. From here I basically had one of several melt downs. While our HR person had no clue about the emails and was pissed about that, she couldn't tell us any information. By 5th hour Catie had had her meeting and was at my door sobbing. They were regrettfully not renewing her contract next year, but greatly appreciated her service.
Having classes until the end of the day, I asked our art teacher or he offered to come up with me for my meeting. He volunteered to form the mob that followed though, with at least ten other teachers standing outside the door glaring in at our "leader" while she broke the news to me too. They regrettfully won't be renewing my contract but have greatly appreciated my service. When I asked why I was chosen I was told over and over again that it was budget cuts. Not that you suck, you numbers are bad, nothing except budget cuts. As I walked out I did say that at least being told a real reason would have helped, then I slammed the door and punched a window, which I'm not too certain didn't crack.
Having several days to think about where I go from here I'm scared. And I'm worried. I won't have health insurance after June and my last pay check comes at the end of July. I've worked hard this year to pay off debt, get current on payments and support myself. Not having lots of money at the end of a paycheck hasn't mattered because I've been current on bills and I've been paying things off. I've been supporting myself with the help of no one and I've even been saving money. I struggled to find a job in music after I graduated. I wasn't even hired for this one until 5 days before school started. I can't do that again. My boyfriend just bought a house and we've been planning on living together. I don't want to become a financial burden. I have two pets. I have $24,000 in student loans, $8,000 of which I was lucky to have put on deferment during the school year, which loan forgiveness applied to them. It was helpful. I can't get that again. At the end of the day I keep thinking why me? And why did I choose music?
Why do I mention all of this? Because the Friday before Spring Break, last Friday actually, we had been told budget cuts were unavoidable. That being said, jobs would need to be cut to make up for the loss of monies. Two weeks ago I was all sorts of freaked out. Our principal, who rarely deals with me, I am fairly certain dislikes me. I've never had a bad review, in fact they've all been great, I always do what I'm asked and I only complain when neccessary, when everyone else is complaining with me. Last week though, I stopped worrying and decided what happens happens. I can't control it, I should worry and if anything does happen it's probably for the best. My health has suffered greatly this year, with horrible migraine headaches. My patience is shot outside of school when dealing with normal sane minded human beings who decided to act like fools. And, my "teaching voice" which at my school is almost like a kindly sounding yell, is destroying my throat.
I, along with several good friends and colleagues, had theories about who would be let go. There are several questionable teachers, who are good people, but we're at a loss as to how they came into teaching. Also, because my best friend works there and seems to be the whipping boy or girl if you will, for our principal we thought she might be asked to leave. Although my theory was that because our fearless leader somehow just this year clued in that we're friends, even though I helped get my friend her job and we lived together last year, I figured one of the two of us would be asked to leave.
Friday was a very nervous day for me. To begin with my contact ripped so I was blind in one eye for half the day. Second, around 3rd hour, which is my plan period I got an email requesting a meeting with my principal after school. Scared I went to tell the art teacher, who went with my upstairs to talk to our principal right away. She was with a student so I was forced to wait, which only made me more of a nervous wreck. Walking back to my room I ran into our HR person and asked her to come speak to me in my room. Catie wandered down at the exact same time saying she had received an email as well. From here I basically had one of several melt downs. While our HR person had no clue about the emails and was pissed about that, she couldn't tell us any information. By 5th hour Catie had had her meeting and was at my door sobbing. They were regrettfully not renewing her contract next year, but greatly appreciated her service.
Having classes until the end of the day, I asked our art teacher or he offered to come up with me for my meeting. He volunteered to form the mob that followed though, with at least ten other teachers standing outside the door glaring in at our "leader" while she broke the news to me too. They regrettfully won't be renewing my contract but have greatly appreciated my service. When I asked why I was chosen I was told over and over again that it was budget cuts. Not that you suck, you numbers are bad, nothing except budget cuts. As I walked out I did say that at least being told a real reason would have helped, then I slammed the door and punched a window, which I'm not too certain didn't crack.
Having several days to think about where I go from here I'm scared. And I'm worried. I won't have health insurance after June and my last pay check comes at the end of July. I've worked hard this year to pay off debt, get current on payments and support myself. Not having lots of money at the end of a paycheck hasn't mattered because I've been current on bills and I've been paying things off. I've been supporting myself with the help of no one and I've even been saving money. I struggled to find a job in music after I graduated. I wasn't even hired for this one until 5 days before school started. I can't do that again. My boyfriend just bought a house and we've been planning on living together. I don't want to become a financial burden. I have two pets. I have $24,000 in student loans, $8,000 of which I was lucky to have put on deferment during the school year, which loan forgiveness applied to them. It was helpful. I can't get that again. At the end of the day I keep thinking why me? And why did I choose music?
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The countdown to break is on
Thursday last week started our last semester (thank god!) and I'm totally shocked with my classes because....... they do work! And ask for help! And seem to want to do well!!! I'm not used to it in such large quantities. I love it! I am working with them non-stop throughout the hours, constantly going around the room working one on one, explaining information and checking work, that is often times correct! I even assigned homework last Friday stating that it was due Monday but they'd have time during class Monday to work on it and it wouldn't be due until the end of the day. Monday came around and they had it finished! At the beginning of class!!! I thought surely only one or two would have it done, but all of them did it. No joke. Again, I LOVE IT!!! I hope my numbers don't drop after spring break, because last year I seriously had one class each hour where no one was at school every day.
I'm glad break is around the corner, because after last week I need a few days.... or an entire week to just sleep and do work without time limits. I'm hoping these last couple of days go by quickly with little issues but I'm sure it will become the usual crazy like it always is before breaks. We shall see though.
I'm glad break is around the corner, because after last week I need a few days.... or an entire week to just sleep and do work without time limits. I'm hoping these last couple of days go by quickly with little issues but I'm sure it will become the usual crazy like it always is before breaks. We shall see though.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
